Anyhow, I had no intention of blogging about my birthday with the exception being that, once again, Tom rocked it in the gift department. I'm getting a DSLR camera!! It's my Christmas gift, too and Merry Christmas to me! I'm still doing research on which one I want and bargain hunting for deals, but I'm sure I'll write more about it when I do get it. And I'm ridiculously excited to see the pictures!.... On the camera I don't yet have. :)
So I wasn't going to write anything about getting older, but then last night as we were walking with the girls upstairs for bedtime, out of nowhere Casey asks, "Mommy, when you have a syndrome does it ever go away?" It's amazing how fast my mind tried to come up with a thousand different answers at once, trying to anticipate what her little head and heart are getting at here; what is making her question or worry about syndromes on November the 7th at 8:06 p.m. It's an easy enough question to answer: "No, Casey, a syndrome is something that never goes away." Her response was, "So what Emily has will always be with her?" "Yes it will."
Cue the music and get the tissues. In four and a half years, I have accepted almost everything about Emily's diagnosis as fact except that Casey will never know the relationship of a typical sibling. Even now thinking about it, tears burn in my eyes and my chest hurts. I know deep down Casey will be a better person because of her sister's syndrome and they will have a special bond that only they can forge. Emily's diagnosis will be as much of a part of Casey as it is Emily. But as Casey wonders if it will ever go away, I worry how big of a problem it will be for her as she grows older. Will she one day in the far (or not so far) future wish she had a typical sister? I'm sure there will be times. Of course there will be. I remember being a teenager and wishing my sisters were not so annoying :) But it will be different for Casey and it will be difficult for me. But she'll grow older and gain the perspective that only comes with maturity and it will be all right. I'm sure of it. Oh, but I wish it was something I could change for them both...
But for now, Casey loves her sister and if she thinks about Emily's syndrome, she doesn't let on. They wake up each morning and hug and say Good Morning to each other. They fight (Lord knows they fight) like typical siblings and eat breakfast and watch TV together. All typical sister stuff. And if, anything, Casey has embraced Emily's diagnosis in ways I never thought possible. Tonight at the Special Olympics' Young Athletes Program, Casey was the only typical kid there and she took it upon herself to try to help out all of the other young children participating. At one point she pulled me aside and asked me if she should act like she had Down Syndrome because it might make the other kids feel more comfortable. :) Yeah, we're going to be okay.
Okay, I've put the tissues away. Do you know after Casey asked her question last night, she never asked anything else about syndromes. Even when I put her to bed, I asked her if she wanted to talk more about it and she said no that she wanted to know if she could stay up to play with her toys and if she could buy chocolate milk the next day at school. After I had gotten all my mommy armor on and was ready to discuss life with a sibling with special needs, she never gave it another thought. Kids just have a way of accepting information so much more easily when they are young. It changes as we get older, but I so wish it didn't.
