White pants challenge

I'll preface this post with: I know this is completely corny.  I wanted to write something tonight and this is what came out.  I am, in fact, not obsessed with my white pants.  I hardly ever wear them and today I guess I thought it was noteworthy.  I still have no idea how I got started on this tangent....

Following up on my last post, I must say day 4 of Casey's pick-an-outfit catalog is going fabulously.  She selected her outfit last night but this morning she decided she wasn't feelin' it.  So what would have been 20 minutes carved out of our morning for fashion frenzy, instead was a quick glance at her photos and it was done.  Yes, I'm still fist-pumping over this and I'm certain Tom does not fully grasp the brilliance of my organizational masterpiece.  In fact, he gave me more than one raised eyebrow when I was putting it all together, but just you wait until I go away for some amazing girls' weekend and he is in charge.  I'll bet he'll ask where Emily's pages are.  Actually, no.  The girls will probably be dressed in pajamas and he won't even care...

Casey - March, 2011

 

Casey - July, 2012

Maybe the apple doesn't fall too far from the fashion tree.  I, too, am interested in clothes, shoes and accessories and can fill some mindless time with my InStyle magazine.  Unfortunately, now that I'm a stay at home mom, I can't justify spending money on clothes like I did when I was working.  But I find I still can get my trend fix at places like TJMaxx, Target and the Gap.  I love the look of white pants and today I felt like I was up for the challenge.  If you are a mom or accident prone, -or like me both - you know know what I'm talking about.  Wearing white pants is truly an exercise in agility.  You have to have a steady hand with food and beverage and a quick reaction time in order to not get soiled by little ones who decide they need to desperately hug you after eating pudding or pizza.  Each time I wear them, I like to see if I can beat my time from the last time I wore them.  You know - the success of pulling off white pants is measured in how many hours you can wear them before they are not white any more.  Last attempt ended in, like, 4 hours.  This morning, I felt agile and ready for the task.  Today's biggest competitors were Emily's 10 little fingers, the coffee I insisted on having this morning, and taking Emily to meet the class at pre-school.

I'm certain Nutella would be the least of my worries in these pants... sitting down would be a concern.

I kind of love these.

Emily wanted Nutella toast this morning for breakfast and when she declared she was done, the game was on.  In slow motion, she got out of her seat a sticky brown mess and came for at me saying, "Oh my gosh, I messy."  I literally had to circle her 2 or 3 times before I could find the angle at which I could wipe her mouth off and not have her hands reach me.  When that was done, in a flash I threw the washcloth aside and grabbed her wrists and then we very awkwardly walked with her arms outstretched to the bathroom to wash her hands.  Nutella fingers = 0.  White pants = 1.

Emily....where are you??

I managed to avoid a coffee incident and the score was 2 to 0 when we went to pre-school.  As we got in the car, I very cleverly avoided the bicycle tire in the garage but knew pre-school was going to give my still-pristine pants a run for their money.  When we got to Emily's class, though, I instantly forgot about the little inside joke of a game in my head.  I had to size up the crowd Emily will be spending 4 mornings a week with for the next 9 months.  There are a lot of boys in her class and not many girls.  Exact count - 10 boys and 3 girls.  That's a lot of boy roughness for my not-so-stable Emily to maneuver through.  The teacher and her team seemed nice, but I did find out that Miss Kathy, who has been with Emily throughout her pre-school experience so far, is in another room.  I was under the impression (because the principal told me so) that any returning pre-schooler would be placed with teachers they've had previously if at all possible.  So I was a bit crestfallen that she isn't with Miss Kathy and when we saw her on the playground and she and Emily hugged, I was pretty upset. 

Ready to kick some pre-school butt!  (balancing on one leg!  you go girl!)

As I was helping Emily into the car, I was thinking about the voicemail I was going to leave for the principal and didn't notice the size 11 sandal that had just been on the playground aimed at my pant leg.  Game over.  My head wasn't in the game any more.  This time I made it to 4-1/2 hours...  I'm back to worrying about little sister starting school next week - maybe now even more than before.  I still haven't heard back from the principal (yes, I did call and leave her a voicemail).  We'll probably try to get some extra time scheduled with Emily's physical therapist and maybe even start her on some free weights to get ready to hang with all those boys at school. (just kidding)  After we got home, I brushed off the little shoe print and Emily and I made cookies so Casey could have homemade cookies when she came home from school.  And, no, I did not get chocolaty finger prints on me in the process, so I still felt like I won today.  And I got to eat cookies :)

Practicing catching a ball

As I worry about pre-school, I keep telling myself it will all be fine.  As her mom, I'm obligated to be positive but I come from a long line of worriers and it's not something that is always easy for me.  I will be her advocate regardless of who her teacher is or what school she is in.  Her education is not something we take lightly.  I have been told from very early on in her life that early intervention is a big key to her success and while it's only pre-school and not pre-med, I want to capitalize on this time of early learning.  She's soaking it all up and I want to make sure she can do that in pre-school this year.  After this, we think she'll be on to kindergarten next year (gulp).  I know her school career will be filled with challenges and we'll be ready to take them head on.  Game on.  In my own very corny viewpoint, it will kind of be like my little game of keep the white pants clean.  We might maneuver around some sticky stuff, having to adjust our expectations along the way, but in the end we will brush it off and make the best of it for our daughter.  We'll win, I know it!  Failure isn't an option.  And we will celebrate with a side of cookies :)    

Just plain happy.

Fashion and Friends

 

Casey now has 4 days of second grade under her belt.  That would be, literally, if I let her wear her silver sparkle belt with her neon paint-brushed-splotched tank with her striped skirt and her neon polka dot socks.  All at once.  With a scarf.  My big girl is a self proclaimed fashion designer to be.  She loves to come up with outfits in her head, when we are shopping, on computer games, with crayons and markers on paper and from her closet.  I love that she has such a creative mind and am totally okay with self-expression through fashion.  But we have to draw the line sometime.  Over the top to go get ice cream?  Sure!  Mix and match anything to go to the park?  Not a problem.  Put on more accessories than Liberace to hit Kroger?  Fine - I hate the grocery, so we don't spend much time there anyhow. 

Unfortunately, her little self has declared school to be the place to pull out all the fashion stops, though.  It started last year, and with it came the morning arguments, and then the prior-evening battles.  I hate fighting with her about clothes, but I refuse to send her off to school looking so crazy.  Both days of school last week were filled with arguments over what she COULD wear, so Sunday I got busy and eliminated the stress of what to wear to school.  It didn't take me as long as I thought it would.  I went to her room armed with the digital camera and began taking pictures of every outfit and separates and what they could be mixed and matched with.  I compiled the pics onto pages in Microsoft Word and then printed them.  Everything that is acceptable for school is documented and cataloged.  Now, she has to pick an outfit from one of the pictures, grab those pieces and dress herself.  Add earrings or necklace of her choice and Ta-Da!!  Yesterday and today have been blissfully stress-free in the frock department, I am happy to report.  I'm kind of happy dancing inside a lot over this one. :) 

 

I would have guessed that Emily was going to miss Casey when she was at school.  And I am touched each day when Casey comes home that hey hug tight long enough to make my heart melt several times over and say how much they missed each other.  But Emily asks me many times a day where Casey is and is now attached to my hip.  All day.  I can't even go upstairs to brush my teeth without her begging to come upstairs with me.  So I organized a little pre-school playground time this morning with some friends.  I know several moms who have second graders at school and pre-schoolers at home yet, so we gathered at a park to give ourselves a breather our little ones some time to hang out.   I was a bit nervous about it all. 

Nervous?  About the little playground across from the library?  Yes, a bit.  We've been seeing Emily experiencing a little self-expression frustration at home lately.  I think it mostly stems from the communication gap between what Emily wants to say and what she can say and understand.  And her frustration has been showing up in the form of hitting.  I'm worried it might show up in pre-school, which starts next week, and I was worried it would show up today.  More so, though, my nervousness had to do with how other kids, typical kids, would interact and accept Emily.  It's one thing when we're hanging out with friends we've seen all summer, but Emily had not really played with these kids before.  Would she understand them?  Would they understand her? 

 

 

We've had a couple of experiences this summer where kids seemed actually scared of Emily and very noticeably avoided her.  God, that sucked.  Like knee-buckling sucked.  I know they are all just kids for heaven's sake, but to see your special child walked away from because she's different is one of the worst kinds of pain I have experienced as a mother so far.  I know it will happen again.  And I'll pray that she and I get through it then.  But, thankfully, today was not that day.  I worried for not.  Emily played with the other kids, laughed at piling up at the bottom of the slide with the other kids, rocked on the little cars and sang 'Rock A Bye Baby' with the other kids and ran and chased with the other kids.  She was just like any other kid on the playground this morning and it has me a little more excited for pre-school next week.  She will handle it.  She is so friendly and open and without prejudice.  I'm certain that will speak volumes to other kids even though she may not have the words to say so. 

 

Secretly, though, I was prepared to bolt from the little playgroup today if it wasn't working out for her; to protect her and I from feelings being hurt.  I know I won't be there to do that at school and, really, it's better that I'm not there to do that for to her.  She needs to learn how to handle these situations in order to grow and mature socially.  It kind of sounds like I need to do the same, too. :)

I can't be in control of my girls all of the time.  I guess...  I'm learning.  Slowly.  One day Casey won't need let me edit her fashion choices so much.  She'll handle it with her own style and flair that will be beautiful and so Casey.   And Emily won't need me to worry and wait nearby in case a kid runs away from her because she speaks differently.  She'll handle it, too, in her own way.  Hopefully without a fist flying.  And me?  I'll learn to take it all in stride and worry a little less about fashion and friends and other things that will be out of my control.  Won't I????



I guess they do okay when I step back and let them be...  Emily ran up to Casey's soccer team as they huddled up at the end of practice and I put the camera up just in time to catch Casey put her arm around Emily and include her in the group.  :)

 

First Day of Second Grade

Today was yet another milestone in our lives.  It's a ritual that will be repeated every year and will always involve the excitement of the future unfolding and the nervousness of the unknown.  At least for me.  Today was Casey's first day of school.  She's in a new building this year and that means new rooms, hallways, lunch tables and faces.

 

When I dropped Casey off she looked back only once at me with a half smile only because I shouted, "I love you!"  It was generous of her to give me that little smile and not roll her eyes at THAT mom in the parking lot.  I know the days of eye rolling will come soon enough.  Maybe not until fourth grade?  Third?  Please, please don't let it be second grade.  I'm not ready for it.  She still needs me too much for eye rolling.  Right?

I will say Emily handled herself well during drop off.  I would have guessed she would feel royally jipped for missing out on going to school, but there was no crying or begging to go with Casey.  Her first day of pre-school will come in a week and a half.  I hope I don't cry.  Okay, who am I kidding?  I know I will. 

Emily and I busied ourselves with visiting a neighbor and her new teeny tiny baby for a little while then we scrapped our plans of running errands and cleaned the house.  And purged the toy room.  Missing your child?  Go look at where the toys are thrown around your house and dig in.  Nothing will get your mind off of missing your child like knowing their absence is the only way all their stuff they don't play with will be permanently removed from your house.

 

Soon enough it was time for pick up and she told me without asking as she was getting into the car, how awesome her day was and how funny and cool her teacher is.  She said the boys in her class were annoying and apparently made fart noises quite a bit.  There are about twice as many boys in her class as girls and I'm glad she is in the designated "cute little girl" minority. 

She had a soccer scrimmage tonight.  I had a haircut scheduled this evening so I had to miss it.  Honestly, based on our last 2 seasons of soccer, I didn't expect to miss much.  The first season she played (maybe she was 5), she scored 6 goals in one game.  And ever since, she has been more interested in the snacks and biting her finger nails during soccer games.  We gave her the option of playing basketball, cheering, gymnastics, volleyball or soccer this fall and we were shocked when she chose soccer.  And wouldn't you know, she scored a goal tonight, blocked one goal and, according to Tom, played really hard tonight.  And I missed it.  Rats. 

She went to bed tonight saying what a wonderful day it was and asked if I was proud of her.  There were many hugs and kisses and we said a prayer in hopes that day 2 of second grade goes as well as today.  Second grade.... how did she get so big in such a short time?  I'm getting sentimental again.  I guess I better look for something else to clean.

Hilton Head 2012

 

Summer has come to an end.  It's been a good one for certain.  I have loved every day spent with my girls.  Except three.  Those three days were so long and tedious for me I have actually kept count of them and they have all been in the last couple of weeks.  I'm sure if school didn't start tomorrow the tally would get higher, but I'll still be all weepy and sad to see Casey go off to second grade tomorrow morning and these past days of complaining and fighting and whining will be all but forgotten.  But the first day of school will be another post.  Today's is catching up on our vacation!

Friday the 10th was the day we left.  It was officially the 10th but barely.  Tom and I woke up at 2:00 a.m. and packed the last minute things and got the girls up at 2:50.  And off we went.  But first we had to stop at the ATM.  No, I'm not kidding.  I didn't dare say anything to Tom at the time, but seriously???  After the 3:00 a.m. withdrawal, we were on our way.  We arrived in Hilton Head around 3:30 p.m. and I have to note for posterity's sake that the girls only slept between 30 and 45 minutes each the entire 12 hour drive.  That's right, my lovelies managed be perfectly wonderful and awake the entire day (and most of the night) in the car.  I could not have imagined a better drive in my mind.  And if you've heard me tell you stories about Emily in the car before, you know what a miraculous thing this was. 

 

We had not stayed at this particular condo (actually it's called a villa) before and when we arrived we were immediately disappointed.  Like REALLY disappointed.  It was dirty and smelly and generally seemed unclean.  It was yuck.  We waffled back and forth for a while as to whether we should just suck it up and be happy that we were anywhere on vacation, but after a few hours of going to the grocery and unpacking all the groceries and unloading the car completely, we decided it was going to be unacceptable.  Actually Tom decided; I left it up to him.  I'll insert here that it was also Tom's birthday that day and he was not as forgiving as I was of the condition of the place.  I think he was feeling like he had arrived at a certain age where he is just sick of settling for something less than what we pay for and he had management show us a new place.  The girls were in bed at 8:00 in the grimy place and he proceeded to move every piece of everything we had brought and bought all by himself into a different (cleaner) villa.  At 10:00 p.m.  After being up since 2:00 a.m.  On his birthday.  In the rain.  We finally crashed around midnight and when our precious, overtired sweethearts woke up at 6:30 a.m., we hauled them into the car and brought them to the new place for breakfast and that was the last we ever saw of the vile villa.

The rest of the trip went something like this:  Our dearest darlings woke up every morning by 6:30 a.m., we had breakfast then went to the beach, came back to take naps, went to the pool and then out to dinner or to hear Gregg Russell sing in Harbour Town.  Two mornings Tom played golf so the girls and I got pastries and coffee for breakfast and we either went to the beach or the playground ourselves.  We went on an excellent family bike ride one morning and the weather was so awesome, I swear I didn't even break a sweat in South Carolina in August!!  That's the brief summary, here are some highlights:

Emily and Casey shared a room on vacation.  And the thing about Emily is no matter how many times you tell her she cannot talk at bedtime, she just doesn't have the impulse control not to.  At home Casey is my early bird.  Most mornings she's up and at 'em by 6:30 and Emily doesn't rise until some where between 7:30 and 8:30.  So when Emily would normally be rolling over and going back to another sleep cycle at home, she knew Casey was nearby and could not resist the temptation to say good morning to her.  If Casey gets up Tom and I can still sleep and she can entertain herself.  When Emily is up, we all are up.  At 6 something on vacation.  Thus the naps.

Casey's pride and joy of the trip was finding a starfish in the water!  We would go to the beach in the mornings and look endlessly for seashells and usually not find anything bigger than my thumbnail.  So when she saw the starfish and it was still alive, you'd of thought she'd struck gold.  Of course she had to put it back, but it was a cool find for sure!

 

 Because I'm the overprotective mom that I am, I could not bring myself to read the book I brought along the the beach every day.  We're just not at that stage yet.  When I saw other people reclined in a chair on the beach with a book, I would catch myself occasionally wishing I could do the same, but I know that day will come soon enough.  So I told my mental self to shut up and enjoy my girls making sand castles with moats and mud (sand) pies and trying to catch waves on a boogie board.  Both mine and Tom's eyes were required to keep an eye on Emily - there was just too much space and water to wander into and too many people to get lost in for my eyes to be in a book.  But at some point I had to drive home the point to Tom that only under life threatening circumstances was I going to run on the beach in a swimsuit after her.  This had to be made very clear.  Drowning or loss of life had to be actually in progress for me to run, so he needed to in this with me - no snoozing behind those sunglasses, mister.  Baywatch was a show of fiction.  Let's not be misunderstood here.

If you've read any of my previous posts you know Emily has not mastered stairs yet.  There are 114 to the top of the lighthouse in Harbour Town.  Last week wasn't peak vacation season there, but there were still plenty of people there to form a very long, hot line behind Emily trying to navigate the steps, so just Tom and Casey went this year.  I think Emily would love it up there, so we'll be working this year to get her to the top!!


Tom and Casey at the top of the lighthouse

At the playground

 

 

 

 

 

 Hopefully we'll be returning next year for some more great memories!!

Making Memories

It's August and this year that means the sand and surf are coming.  When we have gone to Hilton Head Island in the past, it's been in June - kind of kicking off the summer with the smells and sounds of the beach.  This year we are going at the end of summer - right before school starts.  The school supplies have been bought and shoved onto the shelf in the hall closet.  We're prepared for school to start, but we're not ready.  Not yet.  We've got some sand to shovel and some sun to soak up first.  Tom will get to celebrate his birthday in the car, driving for 12 hours listening to the girls sing 'Happy Birthday' over and over.  I've got the snacks and activities for the girls packed and am crossing my fingers this year Emily will be more content in the car.  She doesn't always get that she can't get out of her seat and gets upset thinking we don't understand her, but at the end of the day the journey will be worth the fun when we arrive.  And I love that our girls will be able to have the memories of returning to the same beach each summer.

HHI, 2011

This past weekend the girls and I went to Ottawa to visit my parents and family.  I didn't call any friends there to try to get together; we were there just to hang out and play with cousins.  Once again this summer the slip 'n slide and baby pool were set up and my parents' very large yard was their playground.  Summertime cousin memories.  I like it.

The Olympics have had my attention late into the night for the last week and staying up late is kicking my butt.  When the alarm angrily goes off at 5:04 a.m. buzzing for me to get up and go to Jazzercise class, everything from my eyelids to my feet are protesting with exhaustion.  But I love watching all the events as I always have since I was a kid.  Casey has liked watching the coverage as much as I have and I love sharing this with her.  We are fascinated by the athletes' abilities and talk much about having dreams and working hard to achieve them.  I guess that makes the tired, cranky, overtired days worth it in the end - we're making memories and bonding.     

Monday was the day that left me among the ranks of moms who say that they can't wait for their kids to go back to school.  The whining and fighting was full tilt between the girls.  Tom got home from work and I told him I had to go run an errand.  He asked what I needed to get and I told him I wasnt' sure.  It was one of those days. 

Fortunately, Tuesday was back to the expected and tolerable level of whining and arguing :)  They were so sweet as they worked together to explode play dough all over the kitchen while using their little hands and imaginations.  Tom starts to sweat when he sees this kind of mess (figuratively, not literally) and he basically shrinks out of the house so he can avoid any participation in cleaning up.  But I say bring on the play dough and mud pies - that's what being a kid is all about.  (Except Moon Sand.  That stuff is evil and awful.)  I can look beyond the tiny pieces of multi-colored dough scattered about and see them working along side each other.  Not arguing over who is standing in front of the TV or who is touching who.  They are making ice cream or cakes or pizzas or whatever - they are making memories as sisters.

Today was errands, packing and hanging at the pool with friends.  We went to the Montgomery pool for a change of scenery.  Friends of friends were there and that meant for an afternoon of kids entertaining each other and moms sitting and chatting while supervising.  It was nice to be able to sit back and watch all of the kids splash and have fun together but it was also comforting to see each of the kids (only ages 7 to 10) assist Emily up onto the wall so she could jump in while they held her hands helping.  No mom had to ask them to do that and when one started, they each took a turn helping her.  Melted my heart all over the place.  Good kids taking time out of their fun to help a (my) little girl join in on the fun.  A memory that will not soon go away for me.

And finally tonight as I was helping Emily put on her jammies for bed I caught a phrase of what she was singing/saying.  Honestly, there are many times she just babbles along to herself and we can't understand what she is saying.  Not all the time, but some of the time.  Tonight I wasn't really paying attention and when I heard it, I was started to laugh so hard.  She was singing/saying: All the other boys try to chase me, so here's my number, call me maybe.  Seems Emily has started to remember lyrics and sing to herself from songs she hears on the radio.  It's the first I've heard from her beyond the songs the pre-school set sings in school and I am crazy proud.  I'll get a video of it for sure tomorrow.  And once again, she blows me aways.  No need for help here - sister can sing pop music just fine. 

 

Plans

As I put Casey to bed tonight I actually didn't even know what day today is.  I'm lost in this week.  It's Wednesday, by the way, and it's been a long week already.  We have a night time ritual and Casey needs this ritual from me as much as she needs air.  Or Barbie.  For years she has asked me 'What are we going to do all these days?'  It's a poorly phrased question that started when she was somewhere between a toddler and a pre-schooler and I wouldn't think of suggesting she change it.  What she wants to know is what we have planned for the next few days before she goes to sleep.  I know it's more than just routine for her.  She feels comfort in knowing what's in store for her and us.  She loves a good surprise but needs, as most kids do, some predictability as well.  Tom and I are like that, too.  We're planners.  Is it nature or is it nurture?  Who knows.  It just is.  But as we all know too well life is anything but predictable.  As I see it (because I'm a list maker) it can only be planned in outline form, with the headings written down next to the uppercase letters and the bullet points left open, waiting for fate to fill them in. 

I love watching my girls sleep.  It never gets old for me.

 Tom and I went away for the weekend (without kids) to Indianapolis.  Mom and dad came here on Friday to watch the girls for us.  The only plans we had (written in uppercase letters) was going to the Brothers of the Sun concert Saturday evening.  We figured the bullet points would just get filled in while we were there.  Not to un-romanticize our weekend, but here's the outline version of it:

A. GO TO TIM McGRAW/KENNY CHESNEY CONCERT IN INDIANAPOLIS

•      Go to several random bars Friday evening and watch Jen eat an entire basket of nachos, drink too many beers, encounter (what Tom thought were) some swingers, have a Rod Stewart sighting (not really), eat dinner at blues joint, enjoy some great blues music, share a cigar together and crash back at hotel where Jen passes out way too early.

At The Slippery Noodle Inn

I'm sure this is what Tom was seeing when he took this pic somewhere downtown

Tell me this guy doesn't look like Rod Stewart!! (or Don Johnson...)

•      Wake up Saturday to not have to scrub Nutella off every kitchen surface, walk all over downtown Indianapolis trying to find coffee and eggs to eat, hold hands while walking around all day like we used to before we had kids to drag out of on-coming traffic, drink Starbucks and read in peace and quiet while Tom ran on a scenic path.

Before concert

•      Grab a bite to eat at some place where I'm sure there wasn't a kids' menu, then go to an amazing concert and have a complete blast with Tom drinking and singing along (off key) the entire concert (me singing, not Tom), then crash back at hotel where Jen passes out way too early again.

During concert

•      Wake up Sunday and know that a big Cracker Barrel breakfast will be the deciding factor as to whether Jen gets sick or not and watch Tom shake his head at such a spectacle and then head on home to children who are so happy to see us.

It really was a nice time away for the two of us.  We counted on the way out of town and this was only the 4th time we've left our girls overnight.  So it was well deserved and a lot of fun.  Of course, it was good to see them when we returned, but, honestly, it was nice to have a little distance between the girls and I for a short time.  July is the point in the summer when the whining comes around full swing and the 'I'm bored's' are too much to take.  Vacation is coming up soon and the outline says nothing but BEACH.  The bullet points will be filled in, but I'm hoping they are the good bullet points.  Like the ones from our weekend away.  Yesterday's bullet points, however, couldn't have been predicted. 

We came home to Emily wearing Papa's shoes and serving Nana cookies

Yesterday started out like any random Tuesday morning this summer.  Casey gets up ridiculously early and eats breakfast and settles in to some cartoons.  Emily and I get up and go to Dunkin' Donuts for my decaf coffee and come home to get breakfast for us.  Tom is getting ready for work. somewhere between his many cups of coffee which I cannot drink.  I sent Casey up to take a shower.  Tom was in the adjacent room from her getting ready.  I hear a thud and then Tom screaming my name.  Here are the facts that have been pieced together: Casey, while in the shower, tells Tom her head is hurting, then starts to cry and tell him it is really, really hurting bad.  He goes in to talk to her and sees she is bracing herself up with her hands on the walls.  She later told us at this point, her head went like 'boom' and then she passed out cold.  He picked her up and laid her on the floor and then started screaming for me.  By the time I get there she is waking up but panicked, telling me her neck feels rubbery and cannot hold up her head and she can't feel her toes, although she can wiggle them when I ask her to.  She then begins to say her arm hurts and her back hurts.  We throw ourselves in the car and took off for Children's.  We are seen immediately and basically she is back to herself within the hour of the episode.  They did an EKG and some other test, but said she was fine and we should just push fluids, and to know lots of kids pass out.  A shout out to my friend, Mandy, who got her kids out of bed to come pick up Emily from the hospital so we could focus on Casey.

Casey checking in at the ER

Casey wasn't remembering everything the rest of the day, so I called her pediatrician so she could be seen today.  I was pretty worried yesterday and last night.  No, more like scared.  No, more like good old-fashioned freaked out.  Was this a one-time freak thing?  Was it a migraine?   Was it a symptom of an aneurysm or mass in her head?  Her pediatrician did a neurological exam today and assessed what I had today - she is completely fine and back to normal.  And I know.  I wasn't more than 6 feet from her side all day long.  I was waiting for another episode.  But she is 100% fine.  And I pray and hope and wish she stays that way.  Forever.  It's hard being a parent.

Getting set up for an EKG

I am reeling from yesterday.  I have some pretty strong emotions about it all.  If I am being completely honest, I have found I might be more prepared for something bad to happen to Emily.  I will be very clear for those who might be prone to misinterpretation - I do not want something bad to happen to one of my girls more than the other.  That's silly.  A mother's love does not favor.  Unless one of them is behaving better... but I digress :)  Maybe I've taken Casey and her health and her future for granted compared to Emily's.  God, I hope not.  But I was not prepared as a mom to even think that something might be wrong with Casey.  It sounds awful.  Emily is a healthy kid who is maturing and developing wonderfully.  But we've been hit with some fairly big hurdles and know maybe deep down there will be more even though nothing is foreseen.  We know Emily will have challenges developmentally and as much as we aren't prepared for future challenges, we still are.  Our biggest worry for Casey since ear tubes has been will she be able to overcome her bossiness in order to make friends :)  I am rocked.  I cannot and will not go into any further detail on how I feel because it will sound awful in print.  Maybe another parent who has a special needs kid and a typical kid would understand.  Tom and I talked about it, so I've gotten it off my chest. 

Popsicles (and ice cream) make everything better

After seeing her pediatrician, I feel good about not needing further testing thus far.  I feel good about getting the second opinion and she really is fine.  Heck, she was running around with friends yesterday afternoon like nothing happened.  But the worry is still there for me.  And if we've learned anything from having Emily it is we really don't know what's going to happen to any of our kids but we will do our best to rise up to the occasion and pick them up (off the shower floor if necessary) and be the best parents possible for them.  We've got outlines for our girls' futures written in our heads like every parent does but we can only plan so much before everything else just fills itself in.  For a planner like me, that kind of unknown is scary, but I also know lots of those bullet points will be really good things.  I'm planning for it.