Hot and Fired Up

Don't say it.  I'm a slacker.  I got it.  I've been busy burying my nose in a book when I can, avoiding the  1000  100+  degree temps and trying to feel a little more up than down.  But nothing makes me pull out my keyboard faster than someone at the pool telling ME that my daughter has issues.  Not just issues but "obviously a lot of issues."  Lady at the pool got my attention back to the soapbox that sits in my head waiting to be jumped on...

Here's how the past week went:  My back still hurts, we had a big hailstorm, Casey had swimming lessons every day through which Emily and I melted while we sat and watched, we went swimming most days after lessons, it was the 4th of July, we visited friends in Columbus and lady at the pool has me all stirred up.

We were all set to eat dinner outside on the patio last Sunday, but Mother Nature said, 'Oh Hail No' and we were forced to run inside to take cover from the storm.  The girls had a lot of fun collecting the hail and Emily observed it was cold.  They both giggled as they picked up the ice and we were amazed that it took over an hour or so to melt despite the heat.  There was probably some great science lesson we could have discussed with the girls, but we chose to sit back with our beers and watch them just enjoy themselves.













Our neighborhood has a kiddie bike parade every July 4th, so we decorated the girls' bikes and wilted walked behind them and the fire trucks to the end of a cul-de-sac where water and snacks and the fire hoses waited for everyone to enjoy.  I will admit openly and honestly that we tried to talk the girls out of this tradition this year.  It was just too hot.  We even bribed them.  But they really wanted to participate and so we will now hold this parental sacrifice over their heads for the next 15 years.  I would have taken a picture of my shirt as testament to just how drenched with sweat we were, but that would have been plain gross.  I would have happily danced in a hail storm that day for relief from the heat.

After the parade, we went to the pool.  Stat.  Tom left early to make a Kroger run and then stopped back to pick up Emily for a nap.  Casey and I hung out for a couple of hours longer with several hundred of our neighbors.  It was a packed pool for sure - nothing else to do on such a hot day!  Remember the scene from the movie Caddyshack when the caddies are in the pool and someone shouts, 'doodie!!' and the pool clears?  Well there was a similar incident that afternoon and the pool cleared real fast.  Yuck.  Happy 4th of July, folks.  We didn't go watch live fireworks because my kids are scared of them, so we curled up in the family room and watched them on TV.  Katy Perry performed on one of the live shows so it was actually better to watch them on TV according to Casey.

Friday we packed up to go see our friends Ted and Melissa who live in Columbus.  We don't get to see them enough for sure and when we do we always have such a good time.  They are the ultimate hosts to us and Tom and Ted are hilarious together.  We (finally) got to meet their new baby (who was born in February) and see little Teddy.  The kids all played so nice together which allowed for the adults to catch up and enjoy some adult beverages.  Emily struggled a bit in the sleeping department, but it will only take her a few days to catch up.  We've been to San Francisco/Pebble Beach and Hilton Head with these friends and are looking forward to more vacations with them in the future!!

3 kids in a cupboard

Emily helping feed baby Aubrey

Today Casey started her second session of swim lessons today and friends met us at the pool afterwards.  But as Emily and I were hanging out during lessons, I began to chat with another mom.  We started to innocently talk about kids and we discovered our youngest kids go to the same pre-school.  The conversation turned to how the school district is struggling with some budget cuts and how the school and services provided might be affected.  She then quickly noted that even though all 4 of her kids have been on IEP's, how I must be concerned because of how my daughter "had issues.  And not just, ya' know, issues.  She has obviously a lot of issues."  I will not dictate the entire conversation but she so keenly noted that it didn't look like my daughter had "Downs" (and I swear to you she whispered the word).  She then asked me if Emily could talk and when I said Yes! She said she hadn't heard her talk at the pool and then said something to the effect that maybe it's one of those things where only I can understand her.   I don't think she was trying to be abrasive, I just don't think she could articulate her curiosity. At all. With a dictionary, thesaurus and speech therapist to help. 

I will interject here to let the world know that Emily very clearly told Tom to stay out of her room and to not shut the door tonight.   Then for good measure she pointed to the imaginary line at the threshold of her room and told him "don't cross that line daddy."

I kept this conversation lighthearted and told her how blessed we were to have Emily in our lives and how well she is doing; trying to deflect this lady's observations. But I tell you inside I was starting to boil. Maybe I have been spoiled by people I know giving such encouraging words so graciously and noting Emily's progress so generously to us. I like our circle of people that tell us we're doing okay and that Emily is doing so well. I need these people in our lives but today was a reminder that we don't live in the bubble our friends and family surround us in. I walked away from the conversation (literally walked away) feeling all mixed up. I never have a problem with someone asking me what Emily' diagnosis is and how that will affect her life. I am as happy to discuss what Emily is doing these days as I am about what Casey is up to.  But I am learning to tiptoe round others' rudeness towards my special daughter. I don't want to go all defensive mama bear on people when no harm is intended. Yet I also don't want to listen to someone tell ME they are so glad their kids can learn normally when we are discussing my daughter's disadvantages to learn.   Trust me, I know better than anyone how lucky parents of typical kids should feel!!  I've got a typical kid, too.  And as much as it makes me thankful God made Casey a typical kid, it makes my heart hurt more that He didn't the same for Emily.  I can't control how anyone acts towards me or my family.  I can only control how I react.  But you know, if you can't say anything nice....   It's kind of like when I didn't tell her how glad I was that I wasn't the one wearing the ugly sunglasses she had on.   (It's my blog - I can be spiteful if I want to :) 

Emily, 2010