Love and Dance

Emily wrote her own name on every one of the 13 cards for her classmates.

It was a lot of hard work!

At Casey's class party, the second graders had to stack candy hearts with chopsticks

 

Thursday was Valentine's Day.  Let's be honest, Valentine's Day hits it's peak in high school.  Never again is the anticipation of waiting for your boyfriend to give you a gift showing his undying-for-the-moment like/crush/sudo-love for you matched like it is in high school.  Whether it is a new boyfriend or a blossoming teenage love, it is a holiday just to give teenage girls the giggles and goosebumps.  Ahhhh... such memories.  By the time we are adults, the romance of the day isn't forgotten but the emotion falls somewhere in between "You just got me a card?" and "I can't believe we just spent that much on dinner when we need a new dishwasher."  Having kids takes Valentine's Day to a different level.  For kids, it's like one of the major holidays.  Some parents give their kids gifts that rival some of the things Santa brings here.  Our girls don't expect anything, so when I do go out and get them a little treat like mugs with hearts on it and M&M's inside, they think it's pretty wonderful.  I get hugs and told how much I am loved :)  And the day is not complete without a class party, passing out valentine cards to friends and consuming no small amount of those adorable little heart candies that now not only say, 'Be Mine', but 'Text Me.'  Tom and I decided to get a babysitter and go out for sushi.  Yum!  We don't go out enough just the two of us, but we need to aside from Valentine's Day and our anniversary.  Especially when we can book the best babysitter in the world.  Seriously-  We came home and poor Regan had let the girls apply makeup to every square inch of her face.  Knowing our kids are safe AND having that much fun - we should be going out all of the time...

If they could get them in their mouths with chopsticks, they could eat them, too :)

I think only the moms thought 'Text me' on the candy hearts were odd

Dear Casey

Emily hung out during Casey's class party and looked through books

Today I became a dance mom.  For about 2 hours and 15 minutes I was a hovering, doting mom with a camera following her kid around like some crazed mamarazzi.  Okay, maybe that's every day, but today was different.  It was dance competition day.  I have several thoughts about today that spans from the overemotional mom to the twilight-esque zone scene of it all.

Ready to dance!

I try not to to short change my girls by underestimating their abilities, but if you would have told me 4 years ago that Emily would be up on stage dancing in front of hundreds of people, I certainly would not have believed you and probably would have privately cried about the fact that that would be just another thing Emily would not be able to do in life.  That says a lot about where I was emotionally 4 years ago but also what I knew about Emily's abilities and disabilities at the time.  Let me tell you what I know now:  Sister can do anything she damn well wants to.  Today, she and her 12 other teammates, got up on stage and danced a dance they learned despite all of their learning challenges.  Genetics doctors told us when she was born she would be 'mildly to moderately mentally retarded'.  That was (and still is) scary stuff to digest and accept.  Except when she blows the lid off of what that means.  Did she have all the moves down?  No.  Was this team in danger of winning any award for the most difficult choreography or skilled performance?  Not even close.  Was she able to get up on stage and shake her little thing in a way that kind of resembled the actual dance moves without a single care about screwing up or being nervous?  Damn straight she did.  Did their performance bring kids and adults alike to tears?  You betcha.  I've been schooled now for sure.  With the help of people who care and accept, I think she'll be able to do much more than we and doctors ever suspected 4 years ago.  Sister rocked it.

Emily, Taylor and Ady

When my friend Shannon told me about this special needs dance team last year, I admit I was conflicted if it was something we wanted to do.  Not because I didn't think Emily would enjoy it, but because it was the first time we were presented with an opportunity to participate in something that was only for challenged kids.  All we ever hear about is 'inclusion' and I found myself wondering if we wanted to be in a special-only class or if we should be aiming higher and put her in a typical dance class.  What was it we wanted for our child?  In typical fashion for myself, I was way over thinking this.  It's not like we were deciding the path for her life or anything, but it does make me think what things in the future we will push for typical inclusion and what we will do that is special-only.  If I've learned anything from this experience, it's not that the standards are lower for special-only activities; the standards are just different.  And, as with Casey playing soccer, I don't grasp the concept of competing in something 'just for fun.'  I've realized that about myself - I'm a tad bit more than a tad bit competitive.  If we're doing this, we're going to commit to it.  We're in or we're out when the word 'team' is involved.  Chromosome abnormality or not - game on.  And it's been a wonderful opportunity to get to know other kids who face some similar challenges and for me to hang out with moms who get what it's like raising a kid with special needs.

Making new friends

Chillin' out

New friends

If Emily wants to continue to dance, then so be it, special or typical team.  But God help me...  Have you ever seen those TV shows like 'Toddlers and Tiaras' or 'Dance Moms'?  I've only seen a couple, and it's usually presented in a ridiculous fashion and I turn the channel, thinking 'that's just TV'.  I've got news - it's not just TV!!!!  For all of the hard work the kids put into their dance routines, there are some moms who may have lost a bit too much touch with reality when it comes to their kids actually performing.  As competitive as I am, I got that.  I had my camera out the whole time and I was dying to take some pictures of some of these moms who were all up in their kids' painted up faces for flicking their hand in the wrong direction while practicing outside of the competition room.  I exhibited the restraint and did not whip off the lens cap, but, instead, chose to enjoy the circus around me.  I guess there is some reality TV that might be actually close to reality after all, though.

On stage for the first time!

Starting poses

A job well done!

A big trophy well deserved!

The littlest dancers

The Star Performance SuperStars dance team soaking up all of the applause!!

 

Trophy, medal and roses :)

 Casey was a bit in awe of all of the hip hop dance performances and, much to my sports-loving self's dismay, I think she'll be wanting to take a dance class soon.  This is like karma, right?  I play every sport available to me, dis the cheerleaders in high school (not really) and I get daughters that want to dance?   sigh...  Either way, I'm sure they'll make me super proud.  I mean after all, Casey gave me a Valentine's card that said she 'loved me like a sister'  and thinks I'm 'magic before her eyes.'  Ha!!  And, to Emily, every day is like Valentine's day for all the love that little sister dishes out to everyone.  I guess I'll love whatever my girls decide to try.  Even dance.

So proud!