Is it Spring yet?

Is it Spring yet?  Aside from the weather still being very much winter, it's starting to feel like Spring things are happening here.

I just bought a laminated calendar to help introduce days, weeks, months to Emily.  What a better month to start than her birthday month?!?

Emily is now registered for kindergarten.  Yikes!  How did this happen?  She's the baby.  She can't possibly be old enough for this.  In reality, kindergarten is the exact same start and end time as pre-school.  The difference is she'll go one extra day.  So it's not like we're becoming empty nesters or anything here, but this Spring will bring the pre-school phase of our lives to an end. -There that sounds more appropriately dramatic for what I'm feeling.  That and the fact that Emily being not only our baby, but our special baby, brings a whole other level to the drama of it all.  I've got 5 whole months to dwell on this subject before she actually goes to kindergarten, so I just settle down here a bit.  I mean all I did was sign a few pieces of papers and fill out some forms.  Actually, that's all I had to do to register Casey for kindergarten.  When you have a special kid, you get to fill out those pages as well as an additional 40 to 50 pages of assessment forms and attend several transitioning, evaluation and IEP meetings and then sign some more forms.  Apparently going to kindergarten is a little more involved than just telling them she got short-changed on some of the learning chromosomes and got a surplus of the chromosomes for happiness. :)  I'll keep you posted on how the upcoming IEP meetings go.  I feel like getting ready for them might be like preparing for an international summit... 

It is March now and little sister knows her birthday is right around the corner.  Each morning she wakes up and at some point she says 'My birthday is coming up!'  We've been practicing saying her birthday and how old she will be as well as her address.  Saying them in a sing-song way definitely has helped her remember them.  In the kindergarten registration packet, there was a list of 5 or 6 different things your kid should be able to do before he/she starts school next year.  They are:
1) State first an last name and age.
2) Write his/her first name.
3) Use scissors and crayons with appropriate grip.
4) Count to 20.
5) Recognize colors and basic shapes.
6) Say their address and phone number. 

Casey knew all of these, how to read and more when she started kindergarten.  But I recognize this might be the only year of school that Emily will begin and be able to have met all the educational goals outlined for students.  I know these are the most basic skills and many kids will be counting to 100 like Casey did on day one, but we are making sure these things are nailed and checked off this list before next school year.  Come hell or high water, she's going in like a boss for at least one year.  She's got most of them down, but we'll continue to sing our address on the way to Kroger or count 20 jelly beans at Easter :)
 

The other night the girls put on a cooking show for us :)

As you can tell by this post, there are a lot of things Emily-related going on in March, right on the heels of Emily's dance competition performance.  And while Casey, who is Emily's biggest cheerleader, (it was Casey who came up with our little address melody with Emily, and Casey who teared up watching Emily dance) is supportive, the more it's all about Emily the less it's all about Casey.  And Princess Casey's not a big fan of being de-throned :)

When Emily was born, one of my biggest worries was that Casey would one day resent the fact that her only sibling was disabled.  Slow.  Challenged.  Different.  Never once did I worry that she would be jealous of her for being....Cute.  Lovable.  Adorable.  Casey has mentioned more than a time or two lately that people seem to like Emily more than her.  In fact, she seems to be very aware that some people find a special endearing quality in Emily.  A trait that is indeed different, but not the kind of different that I worried about.  Oh, I once cried buckets of tears about Casey feeling like she got short changed in the sisterly relationship department.  And, to be honest, I still fear for the day Casey might confess she wishes she had a 'normal' sister.  (Okay, if I'm really honest I know she will feel like this one day and I need to be prepared for it.)  But resenting her for being cute?  Didn't see that one coming. 

We've been out and about recently and some old acquaintances of mine or people who know the same people we do, have stopped to say hi or introduce themselves because they recognize Emily.  And Emily, with her blond curls, usually is smiling and blissfully unaware of the world around her.  Take  that in for a second.  Can you imagine being chronically happy (except when getting out of bed - she's a real grump then) and not really giving a hoot about what other people are saying/doing/thinking?  I imagine it would be liberating.  That is Emily.  And I think people are drawn to that.  (Disclaimer:  I am completely biased and realize I might be making this all up in my head as some self-preservation mechanism.)  Either way, when I'm out and about with the girls, it's usually Emily who will get the attention first lately.  And Casey's jealously radar hones in on that with lightening speed.  I think it's kind of adorable, really.  Like I said, I've been prepared for Casey to resent Emily for other things.  So, especially as Emily's birthday approaches we will have to make sure Casey is getting her love bucket filled a little extra from us :)

My parents were in town this past weekend and mom went with me and the girls to shop for a First Communion dress for Casey.  (Here I go again...)  I can't believe my big girl is old enough to make her First Communion already!!  I did some reconnaissance work online before we went out (what a smart idea this was!!).  I knew I had a limit to what I wanted to spend and I also knew Casey would have a strong opinion on what her dress would look like, so we browsed through many stores' websites to find some we liked.  I have no patience for dragging the girls to 8 different stores on some white dress wild goose chase.  Fortunately, she found exactly one she loved online and a quick trip to Macy's is all it took to seal the deal.  It was the maximum I was willing to spend and she loved it, so we are both happy.  This is worth documenting because I'm sure this perfect storm of happiness on both our parts when it comes to fashion will be rare :)

Emily's birthday, Casey's First Communion, the end of pre-school.  They all have me thinking Spring!  Except I don't think mother nature is done with winter yet.  Seriously??  I'm starting to think it will be 30 degrees with clouds and flurries forever.  I try to never wish time away, especially when I've just spent a fair share of this post whining about my girls growing up too fast, but I wouldn't be disappointed if it was Spring already!

The final product from the cooking show

I just learned this trick at my last photography class - blow out the background of a shot!  for the subject of my last assignment I chose peanut butter and jelly :)

Love and Dance

Emily wrote her own name on every one of the 13 cards for her classmates.

It was a lot of hard work!

At Casey's class party, the second graders had to stack candy hearts with chopsticks

 

Thursday was Valentine's Day.  Let's be honest, Valentine's Day hits it's peak in high school.  Never again is the anticipation of waiting for your boyfriend to give you a gift showing his undying-for-the-moment like/crush/sudo-love for you matched like it is in high school.  Whether it is a new boyfriend or a blossoming teenage love, it is a holiday just to give teenage girls the giggles and goosebumps.  Ahhhh... such memories.  By the time we are adults, the romance of the day isn't forgotten but the emotion falls somewhere in between "You just got me a card?" and "I can't believe we just spent that much on dinner when we need a new dishwasher."  Having kids takes Valentine's Day to a different level.  For kids, it's like one of the major holidays.  Some parents give their kids gifts that rival some of the things Santa brings here.  Our girls don't expect anything, so when I do go out and get them a little treat like mugs with hearts on it and M&M's inside, they think it's pretty wonderful.  I get hugs and told how much I am loved :)  And the day is not complete without a class party, passing out valentine cards to friends and consuming no small amount of those adorable little heart candies that now not only say, 'Be Mine', but 'Text Me.'  Tom and I decided to get a babysitter and go out for sushi.  Yum!  We don't go out enough just the two of us, but we need to aside from Valentine's Day and our anniversary.  Especially when we can book the best babysitter in the world.  Seriously-  We came home and poor Regan had let the girls apply makeup to every square inch of her face.  Knowing our kids are safe AND having that much fun - we should be going out all of the time...

If they could get them in their mouths with chopsticks, they could eat them, too :)

I think only the moms thought 'Text me' on the candy hearts were odd

Dear Casey

Emily hung out during Casey's class party and looked through books

Today I became a dance mom.  For about 2 hours and 15 minutes I was a hovering, doting mom with a camera following her kid around like some crazed mamarazzi.  Okay, maybe that's every day, but today was different.  It was dance competition day.  I have several thoughts about today that spans from the overemotional mom to the twilight-esque zone scene of it all.

Ready to dance!

I try not to to short change my girls by underestimating their abilities, but if you would have told me 4 years ago that Emily would be up on stage dancing in front of hundreds of people, I certainly would not have believed you and probably would have privately cried about the fact that that would be just another thing Emily would not be able to do in life.  That says a lot about where I was emotionally 4 years ago but also what I knew about Emily's abilities and disabilities at the time.  Let me tell you what I know now:  Sister can do anything she damn well wants to.  Today, she and her 12 other teammates, got up on stage and danced a dance they learned despite all of their learning challenges.  Genetics doctors told us when she was born she would be 'mildly to moderately mentally retarded'.  That was (and still is) scary stuff to digest and accept.  Except when she blows the lid off of what that means.  Did she have all the moves down?  No.  Was this team in danger of winning any award for the most difficult choreography or skilled performance?  Not even close.  Was she able to get up on stage and shake her little thing in a way that kind of resembled the actual dance moves without a single care about screwing up or being nervous?  Damn straight she did.  Did their performance bring kids and adults alike to tears?  You betcha.  I've been schooled now for sure.  With the help of people who care and accept, I think she'll be able to do much more than we and doctors ever suspected 4 years ago.  Sister rocked it.

Emily, Taylor and Ady

When my friend Shannon told me about this special needs dance team last year, I admit I was conflicted if it was something we wanted to do.  Not because I didn't think Emily would enjoy it, but because it was the first time we were presented with an opportunity to participate in something that was only for challenged kids.  All we ever hear about is 'inclusion' and I found myself wondering if we wanted to be in a special-only class or if we should be aiming higher and put her in a typical dance class.  What was it we wanted for our child?  In typical fashion for myself, I was way over thinking this.  It's not like we were deciding the path for her life or anything, but it does make me think what things in the future we will push for typical inclusion and what we will do that is special-only.  If I've learned anything from this experience, it's not that the standards are lower for special-only activities; the standards are just different.  And, as with Casey playing soccer, I don't grasp the concept of competing in something 'just for fun.'  I've realized that about myself - I'm a tad bit more than a tad bit competitive.  If we're doing this, we're going to commit to it.  We're in or we're out when the word 'team' is involved.  Chromosome abnormality or not - game on.  And it's been a wonderful opportunity to get to know other kids who face some similar challenges and for me to hang out with moms who get what it's like raising a kid with special needs.

Making new friends

Chillin' out

New friends

If Emily wants to continue to dance, then so be it, special or typical team.  But God help me...  Have you ever seen those TV shows like 'Toddlers and Tiaras' or 'Dance Moms'?  I've only seen a couple, and it's usually presented in a ridiculous fashion and I turn the channel, thinking 'that's just TV'.  I've got news - it's not just TV!!!!  For all of the hard work the kids put into their dance routines, there are some moms who may have lost a bit too much touch with reality when it comes to their kids actually performing.  As competitive as I am, I got that.  I had my camera out the whole time and I was dying to take some pictures of some of these moms who were all up in their kids' painted up faces for flicking their hand in the wrong direction while practicing outside of the competition room.  I exhibited the restraint and did not whip off the lens cap, but, instead, chose to enjoy the circus around me.  I guess there is some reality TV that might be actually close to reality after all, though.

On stage for the first time!

Starting poses

A job well done!

A big trophy well deserved!

The littlest dancers

The Star Performance SuperStars dance team soaking up all of the applause!!

 

Trophy, medal and roses :)

 Casey was a bit in awe of all of the hip hop dance performances and, much to my sports-loving self's dismay, I think she'll be wanting to take a dance class soon.  This is like karma, right?  I play every sport available to me, dis the cheerleaders in high school (not really) and I get daughters that want to dance?   sigh...  Either way, I'm sure they'll make me super proud.  I mean after all, Casey gave me a Valentine's card that said she 'loved me like a sister'  and thinks I'm 'magic before her eyes.'  Ha!!  And, to Emily, every day is like Valentine's day for all the love that little sister dishes out to everyone.  I guess I'll love whatever my girls decide to try.  Even dance.

So proud!