Fashion and Friends

 

Casey now has 4 days of second grade under her belt.  That would be, literally, if I let her wear her silver sparkle belt with her neon paint-brushed-splotched tank with her striped skirt and her neon polka dot socks.  All at once.  With a scarf.  My big girl is a self proclaimed fashion designer to be.  She loves to come up with outfits in her head, when we are shopping, on computer games, with crayons and markers on paper and from her closet.  I love that she has such a creative mind and am totally okay with self-expression through fashion.  But we have to draw the line sometime.  Over the top to go get ice cream?  Sure!  Mix and match anything to go to the park?  Not a problem.  Put on more accessories than Liberace to hit Kroger?  Fine - I hate the grocery, so we don't spend much time there anyhow. 

Unfortunately, her little self has declared school to be the place to pull out all the fashion stops, though.  It started last year, and with it came the morning arguments, and then the prior-evening battles.  I hate fighting with her about clothes, but I refuse to send her off to school looking so crazy.  Both days of school last week were filled with arguments over what she COULD wear, so Sunday I got busy and eliminated the stress of what to wear to school.  It didn't take me as long as I thought it would.  I went to her room armed with the digital camera and began taking pictures of every outfit and separates and what they could be mixed and matched with.  I compiled the pics onto pages in Microsoft Word and then printed them.  Everything that is acceptable for school is documented and cataloged.  Now, she has to pick an outfit from one of the pictures, grab those pieces and dress herself.  Add earrings or necklace of her choice and Ta-Da!!  Yesterday and today have been blissfully stress-free in the frock department, I am happy to report.  I'm kind of happy dancing inside a lot over this one. :) 

 

I would have guessed that Emily was going to miss Casey when she was at school.  And I am touched each day when Casey comes home that hey hug tight long enough to make my heart melt several times over and say how much they missed each other.  But Emily asks me many times a day where Casey is and is now attached to my hip.  All day.  I can't even go upstairs to brush my teeth without her begging to come upstairs with me.  So I organized a little pre-school playground time this morning with some friends.  I know several moms who have second graders at school and pre-schoolers at home yet, so we gathered at a park to give ourselves a breather our little ones some time to hang out.   I was a bit nervous about it all. 

Nervous?  About the little playground across from the library?  Yes, a bit.  We've been seeing Emily experiencing a little self-expression frustration at home lately.  I think it mostly stems from the communication gap between what Emily wants to say and what she can say and understand.  And her frustration has been showing up in the form of hitting.  I'm worried it might show up in pre-school, which starts next week, and I was worried it would show up today.  More so, though, my nervousness had to do with how other kids, typical kids, would interact and accept Emily.  It's one thing when we're hanging out with friends we've seen all summer, but Emily had not really played with these kids before.  Would she understand them?  Would they understand her? 

 

 

We've had a couple of experiences this summer where kids seemed actually scared of Emily and very noticeably avoided her.  God, that sucked.  Like knee-buckling sucked.  I know they are all just kids for heaven's sake, but to see your special child walked away from because she's different is one of the worst kinds of pain I have experienced as a mother so far.  I know it will happen again.  And I'll pray that she and I get through it then.  But, thankfully, today was not that day.  I worried for not.  Emily played with the other kids, laughed at piling up at the bottom of the slide with the other kids, rocked on the little cars and sang 'Rock A Bye Baby' with the other kids and ran and chased with the other kids.  She was just like any other kid on the playground this morning and it has me a little more excited for pre-school next week.  She will handle it.  She is so friendly and open and without prejudice.  I'm certain that will speak volumes to other kids even though she may not have the words to say so. 

 

Secretly, though, I was prepared to bolt from the little playgroup today if it wasn't working out for her; to protect her and I from feelings being hurt.  I know I won't be there to do that at school and, really, it's better that I'm not there to do that for to her.  She needs to learn how to handle these situations in order to grow and mature socially.  It kind of sounds like I need to do the same, too. :)

I can't be in control of my girls all of the time.  I guess...  I'm learning.  Slowly.  One day Casey won't need let me edit her fashion choices so much.  She'll handle it with her own style and flair that will be beautiful and so Casey.   And Emily won't need me to worry and wait nearby in case a kid runs away from her because she speaks differently.  She'll handle it, too, in her own way.  Hopefully without a fist flying.  And me?  I'll learn to take it all in stride and worry a little less about fashion and friends and other things that will be out of my control.  Won't I????



I guess they do okay when I step back and let them be...  Emily ran up to Casey's soccer team as they huddled up at the end of practice and I put the camera up just in time to catch Casey put her arm around Emily and include her in the group.  :)